In addition to our availability of HIPAA Compliant Online Couples Counseling and Coaching, A Couple’s Place offers Pre-Marital Counseling or Pre-Commitment relationship therapy to all of Marin County, California, including the communities of: San Rafael, Corte Madera, Fairfax, Greenbrae, Kentfield, Larkspur, Mill Valley, Ross, San Anselmo, Sausalito, Tiburon, Belvedere, and Novato, California.

In addition to offering couples The Art & SCIENCE of Love - Weekend Retreat Couples Workshops (which are also eligible for continuing education units for professional clinicians), I train therapists to use research-based Gottman-Method couples therapy for their clientele with relationship issues.

Our other websites include aCouplesWorkshop.com for The Art & SCIENCE of Love - Weekend Retreat Couples Workshops and TrainingForCouplesTherapy.com for therapists interested in learning Gottman-Method Couples Therapy.

Our clientele is diverse and includes married, cohabiting, straight and gay couples as well as individuals.

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The Premarital Course

     includes the following:

1 - 60 minute Assessment Session

1 - 60 minute Feedback Session

3 - 60 minute Skill Building Sessions

In the assessment session we will talk about how you each see your relationship currently as well as how you view your history together.  You will also be asked to complete an on-line relationship questionnaire that is intended to help you identify the unique strengths and potential growth areas of your relationship.  Many couples say that the assessment session helps them organize their thoughts and better identify the skill building areas they want to focus on.

Assessment Session

In this Shared Meaning exercise you will choose a ritual of connection that you want to establish for yourselves. It may be how you want to celebrate a particular holiday or it may be something done on a daily basis that helps you stay connected. You will talk together about what will be meaningful about this ritual for each of you, when it will be done and how it will be done, etc. The ritual of connection exercise is a great exercise for all couples and especially good for blended families.

Create a Ritual of Connection

Our couple’s workshops also make a terrific wedding or engagement gift. Learn more.

Our pre-marital and pre-commitment course is grounded in Gottman's science-based theory for making relationships work. Gottman's 35 years of research has included studies on marriage, gay and lesbian couples, transition to parenthood, parenting and child development. The pre-marital and pre-commitment course is designed for couples who are preparing for marriage or commitment or are at an early stage in their relationship. This course is educational and is not meant to be psychotherapy.

In the feedback session you will learn about the seven levels of "The Sound Relationship House", and how each level builds to a successful relationship. You will also learn about communication styles. Gottman identified three: 1. Conflict Avoiding, 2. Validating, 3. Volatile. The good news is that there is no right or wrong style, but each type has pitfalls to watch out for.  We will talk about your relationship specifically and how it fits into the Sound Relationship House as well as your communication style.  At the end of the feedback session you will leave with a plan of action for the next three skill building sessions.

Feedback Session

Your therapist will select skill building exercises with your input and based on the assessment and feedback sessions.

Skill Building Sessions

The skill building exercises below are a sampling from our Gottman library of skill building exercises designed to help your keep your communication healthy and positive.

A Sampling of 51 Skill Building Gottman Exercises:

The purpose of the Stress-Reducing Conversation exercise is to assist you in the management of daily external stress, stress that comes from outside of the relationship such as job stress. Research has shown that buffering your relationship from external stress is very important.  Incorporating the positive habit of having Stress-Reducing Conversations helps you turn toward one another even when you are stressed out. You will learn how to have this conversation so that it is a soothing one.

Stress Reduction

The Gott Sex series was designed to help couples feel more comfortable talking about sex. It turns out that many couples in the research struggled when they tried to talk about sex. In the Sex Love Map exercise you will build your knowledge of your partner's sexuality by asking them questions (from a list of suggestions) about their inner sexual world - what they like and don't like, etc.

Gott Sex - Love Maps

In this Manage Conflict exercise you will learn to repair an argument or fight. In this exercise you will take turns and follow six steps to help you have a second conversation that is better than the argument you had. Couple's who don't learn to repair negative interactions build resentment. All couples have fights. Successful couples repair them.

Learn to Process a Fight or Regrettable Incident

In the research some relationship conflicts were solvable and some where perpetual. That was true for all couples. Perpetual differences have to do with fundamental differences that don't change much over time.  Happy couples learn to dialogue about their perpetual differences while unhappy couples get gridlocked. In The Dream Within Conflict exercise you will learn how to dialogue with a perpetual problem in a positive way that builds understanding and compassion.

Dream Within Conflict

This exercise provides you with a pro-active way to talk about "who does what" around the household and kids if you have them, or are planning to have them.  You will both have a chance to choose from a list of activities and to discuss in a positive way what your ideal would be.

Negotiating Power: Who Does What?

The willingness to compromise in relationship is very important. In fact, the only way you can be influential in your relationship is by accepting influence.  In this exercise you will both learn the art of compromising and how to identify the core areas, if any, that you are inflexible on as well as the areas that you are flexible about. You will learn to talk about your common ground rather than getting stuck on the "no deals".  This exercise is a wonderful follow up to the Dreams within Conflict exercise.

Compromise

The pre-marital course is educational and skill-based in nature and not for couples who are experiencing domestic violence or who are in crisis.

Please contact Lisa at (415) 721-4310 with any questions or to schedule your pre-marital package.